I recently survived another BALLIN trip with Papa Joe. To Amsterdam (because it would be an absolute disgrace to live in Europe for 5 months and NOT go to Amsterdam).
The city in a nutshell: gorgeous. As in the houses are pretty. And the canals. And the weather. And all the people who live there (tall, blonde, tan, Vikings). Everything was laid back too, which, as an American, I was completely unaccustomed to. Take restaurants, for instance. Is there one eating establishment in the USA where the employees aren't trying to get you fed and then get you the hell out? I'm pretty sure I've actually had to wrestle my plate out of a server's hands because I was still eating when they were trying to take away my plate (that may be an exaggeration, can't be sure though). Well, in the Netherlands...it's the opposite. Fun fact for the tourist: DO NOT GO TO A RESTAURANT IN A FAMISHED STATE. You will be crying with starvation an hour later when your food has not arrived. You will also cry when your food comes out and it's a normal European sized serving and not a fat steroid American sized portion. And you'll cry even more when your waiter never comes back to refill your tiny ass water glass (that you had to pay 2 quid for because they only serve bottled water and not tap water).
Ok, that totally seemed like an ethnocentric whiny bitch rant. It was. I admit it. I'm at the point where I can appreciate how other countries do things, but I miss America. I'm over the European exoticness. I want a cheese steak and a sweet tea (and my family too...I guess (jk love y'all)).
Back to Amsterdam.
I was very pleased with the amount of walking and touristy things that we did. The best was the Van Gogh Museum. Dude was crazy, but the crazy ones make the best art. And when we saw the Rijks Museum, I felt very pleased with myself for recognizing the works Rembrandt and Rubens that I learned about in my art history class (I guess I did learn some stuff at UCD - all is not lost).
And what trip is complete without a pub crawl and a trip down to the Red Light District? Not ours! The pub crawl was ok. Kept my vision the whole time. Broke my flip-flops though. And some dude named Fabio (no, really) may have been trying to make me his wife because he thought I was Persian...but I could be wrong. The Red Light District was horribly depressing at first. We got there early, while it was still light out. The day shift girls were on duty, and they were the saddest things I've ever seen. Bored. On their phones. And...well...not pretty at all. We went for dinner and returned later, like around 9, and the difference was hilarious. Sketchy bros were going in and out of those little glass doors, and the night shift girls (the hot ones) were on...very few of them were on their phones. It's a fun experience. I felt awful laughing, but it's hard to walk past a girl in glow-in-the-dark animal print underwear beckoning you and not laugh. Oh Amsterdam.
